Smack in the Face

Remember a few weeks ago when I managed to forget an entire exam?

 

Well… apparently it can get worse than that.

 

Today was really rough. I made the decision to cut my losses (Concrete Design) and focus on the classes I still have a shot at making good grades in.

 

I bit off more than I could chew this semester. I didn’t give enough time or effort into anything, and now everything is slacking. My grades, my health, my relationships… everything has gone WAY downhill. It was fine at first, but things just kept snowballing.

 

Today was most definitely a smack in the face.

 

I will now be graduating in August 2010, since I have to make up a design class. I’ve never failed a class, but it’s not the end of the world. I currently feel humiliated and like an epic failure, but I’ve learned some valuable lessons from this.

 

1. Don’t take on more than I can handle- Senior Design classes are not meant to be taken with 5 other hard classes

 

2. Be organized. My desk looks like this:

DSC_0039

My filing system is stacks of papers on the floor…

 

3.Ask help when I need it. Major personality flaw.

 

4. Figure out what I want, so I can focus on getting it. This one’s the biggie.

 

Later…

I came home to a Jason making dinner, which was a shocker. I melted like butter in July, and started sobbing again. He knew that I had a really bad day, and he was trying to make me feel better.

 

He made chicken parmesan

 

IMG_0891

 

spaghetti

 

IMG_0895

 

…and (x-treme garlic) steamed squash.

 

IMG_0896

 

I told him it was the nicest thing he’s ever done for me. I meant it as a compliment, but he thought it was an insult. OOOPPPSSS.

 

IMG_0892

 

He did everything all on his own! I’m very grateful.

 

I need to get back to studying. I have a final tomorrow at 4pm!

 

❤ MegaNerd

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48 Responses

  1. I’m sorry! Remember the great things in your life, including a boyfriend who cooks dinner when you are sad. And really, what’s a few extra months of school anyway? No big deal in the long run!

  2. I can organize that desk for you now that I have a bunch of free time 😛

  3. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I’m glad you are looking at the positives, and realize that life goes on and it will all work out in the end! It’s great you have Jason to always cheer you up! My bf does the same thing for me, if I’m feeling like the world is going to end, he somehow puts a smile on my face! Good luck on your exam tomorrow!!!

  4. awww girl im so sorry! i was failing and ended up withdrawing from a class (notoriously hard at the school, recommended to only take 2 other classes with it!!) and eventually transferring universities because of declining grades/health/relationships… aka everything you said!!
    you learn a lot about yourself though! as you have clearly noticed by your list 🙂 which is great! everything will be okay but you know that i think 🙂 best of luck!!

  5. I totally know how you feel. I’m failing out of my first semester of grad school and I’ve never failed out of anything before. It’s so tough and I’m having a hard time coming to grips with it, so I know where you’re coming from.

    The one thing I’m slowly learning, though, is even though I’m so diappointed in myself, that failing does not make me a failure. As hard as it is to accept that and believe it.

    You’ve take on a lot this semester and you cant expect yourself to be superwoman. Be proud of what you have accomplished and what you will accomplish in the future. You just pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and learn from your mistakes to do better next time.

    Trust me, I feel totally cheesy for saying all of that, but it’s what people have been telling me and it’s actually been very helpful. People fail, they make mistakes, but it doesn’t have define who we are.

  6. Good luck with your exam tomorrow!! You have A LOT of people cheering for you out here in blog world. A few extra months of school doesn’t mean you aren’t still a super-blogging-healthy eating-running-nerdy-wonderwoman! Keep your head up! 🙂

  7. Hey Megan,

    I haven’t commented before (I don’t think.. so many blogs to keep track of!) but I was compelled to after reading today’s post. I graduated in ’08 (yikes, feel like it was yesterday) with a degree in chem eng and your post was like a flashback. My senior year involved a LOT of tears and I totalllly lack the personality trait of asking for help. It’s hard to hear when things are unsure but it will get better! I was extremely stressed about what to do with my life and I promise it will work out, even if you have no idea quite how yet. A ton of my friends had jobs straight out of college and a good portion have already changed jobs or decided to go back to school! Hope I didn’t overdo it on a first post but I really felt for ya. You have such a sweetheart boyfriend to make the day a bit better!

    I hope your finals go well, good luck!

    Katie

  8. Well we still think you’re awesome (I’m sure JasoNerd does too 🙂 ) I tend to beat myself up when I things start falling apart around me and I just have to tell myself that it will all fall into place. It may not be what you wanted, but I’m sure you’ll get there.

  9. Ah JasoNerd! He melts my heart! How precious. So sorry for the bad day. I had one of those Friday. I literally came home from work in tears and just had an all out sob fest. It’s better now though. Life has a funny way of working out.

    😀
    ♥ Whit

  10. Very nice of Jason.

    I know it seems like a big blow right now, but I bet after you graduate, you’ll forget that you had to do those extra months.

  11. Oh no, that suuuuuucks. I am so sorry! Good luck with the rest of your finals… and next semester you can ROCK Concrete design (pun not intended). It may have gotten the best of you this semester… but next time show that class who’s boss!

  12. Sorry you had such a bad day.

    In the words of Bob Marley..
    don’t worry, it will soon pass whatever it is,
    don’t worry, be happy,
    i’m not worried

    (that’s my fav part of the song. 🙂 )

  13. I had to drop a class as well- biochem ( which is my major) I thought my life was over- and 3 sob sessions later it kept going.

    You got a dinner and I got a bag of M&M’s 🙂

    Hang in there you CAN do it 🙂

  14. Wow – what a day 😦 Sorry to hear that you had to drop a class – but just think – you can come back to it next year and put a bigger and better effort in 🙂
    “4. Figure out what I want, so I can focus on getting it. This one’s the biggie.” —- I am currently soul searching on this one so can totally relate 🙂 Here is to a fantastic 2010 I say 🙂

  15. Hugs love. It’s never easy to say ‘I can’t do this anymore’. BUT that’s the beginning of changes which you need. Remember to be patient with life. It’s not the end. Think of it as a lesson in life, which will help you in the future for find the healthy balance that you need.

    Do the best you can..that’s all you can do. We all still love you and support you.

    ~M

  16. Cheer up :o) I read your blog every day and I think you’re amazing.

    Don’t feel like you haven’t done a great job, just remember how much you have taken on and that you’re a human.

    You must put so much time and energy into writing every day to keep people around the world (I’m in Australia) inspired to be healthy, exercise and look after themselves properly.

    I think you’re great!

  17. Awww sweets – no worries!! Seriously, it happens to all of us. And you were taking an INSANE load this semester. Waiting until the summer may be a blessing in disguise! Now you’ll have the summer to focus on a smaller load and less classes (right?!). And less time in the real world, which I’m currently stressing about entering!

  18. Sorry things are so hard for you right now. I know how hard it is to fail at something when you’re so used to succeeding. It’s going to get better. Good luck for tomorrow. Amy

  19. Hang in there, you can do it:) good for you for making a tough decision.

  20. Although it sounds cliche, everything happens for a reason! You’ll end up a stronger person overall for going through such a crappy time, and you’ll learn so much about yourself. Hang in there!!

  21. AWww, Megan I am so sorry! I know this probably won’t make you feel much better, but it does happen to the best of us. Trust me, I was an A type student just like you, and one semester, I took on WAY too much and ended up failing one of my classes. I was devestated and felt like a complete and utter failure at life. But then I realized that this was indeed a slap in the face. It taught me that no matter how much I thought I could handle everything, I really can’t, and THAT”S OKAy!!! It was a MAJOR learning lesson for me and this will be for you too! So you are graduating a little later than you expected, that’s okay, what’s the rush. You have your entire life to work and trust me, after you graduated you will wish you were back! 😉

    Have a great day sweetheart! 🙂 Sorry you are feeling blue.

  22. Hugs. It sounds like you made the right decision with postponing the extra class. There’s no shame in admitting you took on more than you can handle. Now you are ready to get back on track and rock! You can do it 🙂

  23. p.s. Well done, JasoNerd 🙂

  24. I’m in the middle of my first round of college exams…just remember to take a few deep breaths. A few months from now, you might not even think about what’s going on now. Good luck!

  25. Megan, I totally understand. My final senior semester I was totally overwhelmed. Taking classes plus senior design plus applying for grad school plus my extra curricular activities . . .AH! Senior design can be super tough. I dropped the ball on our first submittal and we received a horrible grade (I was devastated given my usual controlling and Type A nature as a student.)
    So the week of our second submittal, I got 11 hours of sleep trying to do well. The whole semester took a serious toll on my body.
    It’s not the end of the world if you fail a class. Just concentrate on what you have.
    I don’t know if this is any consolation, but maybe it’s better to put off graduation. The job market isn’t so great right now for civils . . .

  26. Sorry to hear that you missed an exam … please don’t feel like a failure 😦 You are SO not!!!

  27. Isn’t blogging great? Look at all the support you’re getting!

    Take it from someone older (not so much wiser). Years from now, you won’t look back and wish you had gotten things done more quickly, or gotten better grades, or written better papers, etc. etc. You truly will look back and remember the things you were proud of and that made you happy. Taking a much-deserved break should help on both those points!

  28. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling! I think that the last thing you mentioned–figuring out what you wanted–is the most important! School was a breeze for me, not because I was organized (I most definitely was NOT! My desk would have put yours to shame with its insane messiness!), or because I didn’t take on very much (I did–sometimes 22 credits/term). It was a breeze because I studied what I LOVED, and I LOVED learning and being in an atmosphere of intellectual exchange. I found it invigorating and inspiring. I can’t say that I’ve ever got the sense you feel this way on the blog. I truly believe that those who don’t feel this way shouldn’t torture themselves or their teachers by going to college. College shouldn’t be a means to an end–it shouldn’t be something you “get through”! Find your own path, and you’ll do much better!

  29. Cutting your loses is definitely the best thing you could do right now. Why bother stressing yourself out more and spreading yourself thin over all of your courses. Give yourself an easier course load and really put your all into the courses you are still in.

    Supper looked delicious! I think I’ll be makin Chicken Parm soon 🙂

  30. Oh no! Your night last night sounded exactly like mine – somewhat. What a sweet boyfriend to make you feel better with some chicken parmesan. I seriously need to get a good recipe for that – my BF’s mother makes some DELICIOUS c.p, and I should totally get that from her when I head back home for Christmas.

  31. I’m sorry that things got so complicated! Don’t worry though-it’ll all work out!

  32. Sorry you had such a rough day 😦 VERY VERY sweet of the man to make you dinner- what a great way to come home. Looks fantastic too. Keep your head up!

  33. It sounds like you had quite the day. I am sending a big blogger hug your way. Hang in there lady!

  34. Sounds like an incredibly taxing day. You did the right thing – taking care of yourself is #1. Life takes so many unexpected turns and some of them aren’t the best, but all we can control is how we react. You’re a strong chica and I know you’ll come through. Remember, holidays and fam are coming up! That’ll help tons : )

  35. Good luck with everything! Being a student is so hard. You can do it!

  36. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through a rough time, but you seem to have a good grip on what you need to do to succeed – even if it takes a little longer than you originally thought. I totally believe that things happen for a reason, so take this extra time to finish up strong and really think about what you want to do after school! We’re all here for you 🙂

  37. I think you just described me and my current feelings about my student status and college career. I know how you feel. Somehow I thought taking 22 credits wouldn’t be too bad. Apparently, this is a VERY hard task and I am now paying for my lack of good judgment in this week leading up to finals. Good luck and lets hope next semester is smoother sailing for the both of us!

  38. 😦 school is tough…but you’re tougher! hang in there!

  39. I’m a sucker for biting off more than I can chew . . . somehow I always live through it, even when I think I won’t.

    You’ll live through it too, cheer up friend!

  40. sorry you’ve had such a tough day. but i bet it won’t be the last one, or the worst. boy i’m really picking you up huh?

    the bad days make us remember why we like the good days. they happen to everyone, and it makes the good days even sweeter. at least you had a good boyfriend to cook for you.

  41. From a fellow engineer, I know how hellish all of the classes can be. take yur time and get er done right! noone (except yourself) will notice the difference.

    Hope the chix parm helped the situation… perfect comfort fodd, you’ve got a keeper on your hands. 🙂

  42. Don’t worry girl. you will be ok. Stuff like this happens in life and its ok. You will pick yourself up and just keep chargin along. You will be fine=) I tend to do the same thing, take on way more than I can handle and not ask for help. Ah well=) So nice of your boy to make ya a great lookin dinner too..=) Have a great evening and dont worry!

  43. Aww, what a sweetie Jason was to cook you such a yummy dinner.

    I know you have a ton of comments already, but I just wanted to pipe in and let you know that the things that you are concentrating on learning now are so important. Finding a balance in life is really difficult and takes a lot of juggling – and even then the balls drop every once in a while.

    You can do it!

  44. AWwww How sweet! Good luck with your final and everything girl! Keep your head high!

  45. Sorry everything snowballed on you. That’s really tough. School can be so stressful! I don’t know how I could help you but anything I can do to help you out next semester I am here! 🙂 I hope the next few months are a lot less stressful!

  46. At least you have learned these lessons, even though I can only imagine it’s not a fun experience.

    I’m glad you have realized some things about yourself and you are totally not a failure, you are still going to graduate 🙂

    What a nice guy Jason is!

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