3 months, 3 miles

Tonight’s run was epic. Not because I ran fast or far, but because it finally felt NORMAL.  I haven’t felt so good in months.

 

Running has always been my place to get away and think about things without any distractions from the world. Tonight’s three miler was filled with some pretty intense thoughts…

 

Exactly three months ago today, I moved out into an apartment of my very own. No parents. No roommates. No pets. No boyfriends. Just me.

 

My friends helped me move in. My dad came  up to help me get settled. At the end of the day, when I said my good-byes, I was left alone in my apartment. MY apartment.

 

“Is this really it? Is this happening?”

 

The first night in my new apartment was one filled with more emotion then I ever thought was humanly possible. I didn’t even have a bed yet, just an air mattress, 5 inches off the floor. I laid on my make-shift bed, staring at the ceiling for a good two hours crying tears of joy, pain, resentment, love, and hate. I had an overwhelming feeling of peace I had never experienced before in my life.

 

I ended the two year relationship well before I announced it on the blog. It was a toxic relationship on both ends. I waited until I had a place of my own to announce the break up to spare myself awkward explanations.

 

To this day, I still get e-mails regarding my break-up with Jason. I’m not really sure why, but there must be some comfort in sharing your pain with a stranger.

 

It hurts to see when people e-mailing me things like, “I’ve been unhappy for two years now” and “I want to get out, but it’s just so comfortable.” We have one life to live and you do NOT get a second chance at it.

 

You will never hear me say that I regret that relationship. We both learned a lot about ourselves, life, and love. What works, what doesn’t. More importantly, I DEFINATELY do not regret moving out and moving on.

 

In the few short months I have lived on my own, I have become even stronger and more independent than I ever have been. It’s not always easy coming home to an empty apartment, but I always know that my friends are only a phone call (or a g-chat message) away.

 

If you are unhappy with your life, only YOU can change it.

 

Those are my two cents for the day. 😀

 

❤ MegaNerd

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